![]() Kevin Randleman is a wrestler whose body was kidnapped by science and mostly replaced with horse DNA. Kevin Randleman Fedor Emelianenko is a merciless knockout machine that emerged from the ruins of war torn Stalingrad to avenge the angry dead. Oh, SHIT! Pride Critical Countdown 2004: Fedor Emelianenko vs. And Bryant Gumbel is so white that he clutches his purse tighter when he passes by President Obama. It was racist to a point that even Bryant Gumbel called him an Uncle Tom. He ate bananas and acted like a gorilla on Japanese TV, which in the black community is like beggin' whitey's pardon and askin' if a softshoe would be to his likin'. If there was a paycheck involved, he did whatever. ![]() He used to joke that he could corner the ass-wiping market tomorrow by putting his face on one brand of toilet paper. He was making so much money that he didn't give a fuck. He was the Japanese equivalent of the '85 Bears, Crocodile Dundee, Muhammad Ali, and the California Raisins all in one. He had a music video, endorsed hundreds of products, and their tiny people lined up for the honor of being eaten by him. ![]() Bob Sapp was the center of Japan's media. To the Japanese, this was like beating Jesus in a fish-making contest. Nogueria won a few minutes later with a straight armbar. This changed after three more failed, desperate piledriver attempts, when he mostly just wanted a nap. ![]()
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